Bon Voyage 2022
Days and days, months and months, ended up becoming years. We’re maybe nearing the end of the world as we speak, but don’t you ever ask yourself how funny it is? The nearer we got, the faster we get?
Getting through each day is a hurdle in itself. I read someone asking on Quora, “Is it too late for me to change my life?” while lamenting the dire situations he/she’s in. It gets a lot of answers, but one stuck on top of my mind. She answered in detailed how she was hit by a taxi driver and broke some bones, but a couple who’s in the same situation were dead several nights before she got hit. She quoted, “Any day on this side of the dirt is a good day” and I couldn’t agree more.
It’s easy to hide everything under the rug for the sake of gratitude. I’ve met a lot of people in my life who always focus on silver linings when sometimes it’s absolutely fine to mock how fucked we are. On one fine morning, it might suddenly rain and break our beloved shoes. You wake up earlier to finish up some works earlier only to know it won’t get presented. These small inconveniences accumulate into something even bigger and we can’t help to think, how unlucky we are to live on this rock floating around space!
Of course it’s hard to be grateful to be alive when every single day feels like God’s testing us as His strongest soldiers. We might scream to Him asking what the hell is happening and does He want? Especially when every single important things which contribute to make us feel stable being taken one time after another. Losing a partner, my grandma, my close friends, lose jobs, and almost lose myself twice due to accidents within one year. And how the hell I can say to myself, “How lucky I am to be alive?!”
As a person living as a ball of contradictions, I begin to understand how funny life is. Everything’s only important in the eye of beholder. I was living under the impression of big bad life is the only life worth living. Go big or go home kind of type. Yet, I never ask who is the one who see? I never really have time to ask bigger question more than what my next step is and how it relates to what I’ve built. I was a prisoner of what I’ve made and forget what a builder I am. Being almost died twice feels like a massive wreck-ball coming after my head. This time I accept my defeat.
I don’t know what’s coming for me in the future. To be honest, I restrain myself to think about it knowing really well no matter great my plan is, shits happened. All I know is, the troubled waters I’ve passed, better equip me with what the hell will come. And first lesson of being on a voyage is always take only things you need and don’t increase speed under heavy weather. Sometime, fasten things up means the same as dying faster. Do or don’t, your choice.
