The Girl who Walks
There is a story of someone I knew. Her name is R, I can’t tell you the real name, but you know who she is. One day, she went to a park and found doves struggling to peck on breadcumbs. She asked herself, “Why wouldn’t I be the bird? Why couldn’t I be the bird?”, she didn’t fully understand the questions, yet she kept asking anyway.
Then she continued her walk towards a grocery store she usually visits. There was nothing new, it’s all the same. She went to the milk aisle first cause she really loves milk and been craving for banana milk. Her friend mocks her for loving something which it doesn’t suppose to be, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care many of her friends saying, but she can’t stop hanging out with them. Fear of loneliness might be one of the reason.
She then took the milk along with a cereal bar. She never bought many items there, only drink and snack. The cashier wasn’t take full attention to her. She thought he might never took any attention on anything. She wondered, “How could a person live like this? Alive but not fully aware? Are they zombie?”, probably she answered herself. She always been like that, asking so many things. Some questions have answers, but mostly don’t. She hates it when there’s no conclusive answer, like how she feels about someone that time. She wasn’t so sure.
There was nothing substantial about the weather, it’s just like usual day at C city. She walked while drinking her banana milk which she loves the most. She tried to make her mind on her feelings, but feelings isn’t her best acumen until now. She wondered “How could a person changed herself, while she wasn’t actively giving the other person permission? What is consent when one still can ruined one another unconsciously?”. She stopped and stared … onto a mother holding her baby. There were many things she hadn’t figured out, she hated it, but she couldn’t do anything about it. She could only hope that tomorrow she’d have the answer she needs.
Then she walked…
…
arrived at home,
but never arrive to a conclusion.
